2015 Round-Up

2015 was a blur –

I had to scroll back through my Facebook posts to remind myself what happened this year. The first quarter was spent in anxiety (waiting for bar results), the second was spent in victory (yay!) and lots of thanksgiving parties, and the last half of the year was spent immersed in a challenging work environment after a painful decision of leaving Camsur. I was able to bring my family to beautiful Caramoan, the French toast crew was born, I met a lot of new and amazing friends (special mention to my wakeskating loves – Zu, Andrew and Cole, and Cedric “Ton-ton”), reconnected with old ones, had a videoke party for my birthday at CWC, shifted from beers to lots of red wine, was in a raw food diet for a while, was living a page off Anne Hathaway’s character in The Devil Wears Prada, went out to watch a Callalily gig last-minute and enjoyed it, and just had the annual year-end review in Tagaytay with my bestest friends for some really tough adult decisions…2015 has been crazy busy for me.

I noticed that I have a theme for each year, and 2015, I think, was a year of growth. I prayed for it, and indeed, it was what the Lord gave me. Lately, there are times when I think I cannot handle it anymore, but I take a deep breath, brush off my tears and say a little prayer to be wiser and stronger.

Thank you to everyone for making 2015 such a memorable one!

This year is going to be interesting. Let’s do this! Happy New Year everyone! Cheers!!!

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On blogging

I have been in and out of blogging for quite some time now. And to be honest, I am struggling. I have yet to find my voice and my style, and consistently write and publish posts that are reflective of what is truly going on in my head.

I started blogging in i.ph (thevideokequeen.i.ph) probably around 2006 or 2007 and have since lost all my posts there when i.ph went on “permanent vacation”. Back then I wrote about my thoughts, how I felt about stuff, whatever happened during the day, or a huge event that I went to. Then I moved to blogspot around 2009 (thevideokequeen.blogspot.com), which I have managed to keep until now, albeit missing a lot of posts from around 2010 to 2012. That was the time I had a self-hosted blog (thevideokequeen.com) on WordPress.org, a move that was totally unexpected, but proved to be quite fulfilling. The idea of managing and focusing on building your own site actually made me write more, focusing on music and events, and making concert or album reviews. I really enjoyed what I was doing, and then the site got hacked. Unfortunately, I don’t have any backups on my posts and lost everything. I tried to post on my original blogspot account, but the pain of lost memories lingered. I lost steam.

All throughout these blogging “episodes”, I have retained the blog title “videoke queen.” I guess maybe it’s because it is only when I am singing, facing a videoke machine, that I learn to let go and just enjoy the song. I edit a lot when I write. And if I am left to do as I please, I will edit and critique my work until I end up not writing anything. It’s awful. My blog title, I think, is my subtle reminder to let go and be unafraid to share my thoughts. It’s a work in progress.

Fast forward to several years and unwritten stories, I find myself in a different location experiencing a lot of new things and meeting a lot of people. For the past year, I have resorted to posting photos on Facebook to capture these “moments”. It’s not enough, though. I realize I have to go back to writing again and sharing the blizzard of insights and ideas whirling inside my head. It’s time to revive the videoke queen but this time, I guess I will be sharing different stories. I will try to make it more personal, and reveal more of my thoughts rather than just chronicling a concert or a show. Thus, expect posts on various subjects from now on. It’s a huge risk for me, opening up like this. But I guess the best way to connect to people is to give more of myself.

Have you ever struggled like this?  If yes, how did you deal with it?

New Year, new post.

A resolution: I’ll try to post more here.

I have been quite sick since the start of the year. Bummer, I know. But I’m trying to shrug it off and still be optimistic since 2012 is going to be a momentous year for me (yeah Lord I’m claiming it! wohooo!) – graduation (crossing my fingers), bar exams (twisting my fingers.haha!), Cebu for the Hanson concert (hopefully), LMFAO concert and the possibility of meeting my favorite dance personalities (yaaaaay!).

I tried to list my memorable music moments in 2011 HERE.

I hope I get to write a longer list of amazing things for 2012 🙂

For now, I have to take my meds and my vitamins. *cough cough* It’s no use wishing, claiming, and hoping for the good stuff if I’m not feeling well, yeah? 

QQ: Always take the opportunity to be courageous.

This night is very inspiring. My professor in Local Government, Professor Rowena Guanzon told our class, “Always take the opportunity to be courageous.” In my 20-something years so far I believe I have taken my fair share of risks and big decisions. But now, in retrospect, I think I am not the same courageous girl anymore.

I have braved the halls of Manila Science HS (after travelling by bus from Bicol to Manila alone and this was when I’m in Grade 6) and survived. I have believed that the only university that I would have to graduate from will be UP – and yes, I passed the UPCAT and went on to have a degree (and met the most wonderful and truthful friends I will ever meet). Now I am risking 5 to 6 years of my life, toiling in law school, unsure if I’ll pass the bar but still praying and hoping and (I would like to believe) working hard to be a lawyer, a good lawyer.

But I think, these same challenges have instilled in me that calculating mindset which pushes me to think of ways to compromise, or other means to do things not head-on but after some careful thought and, (thanks to my business classes), SWOT analysis. Haha! Weird, right? Is this the result of getting old? Of getting involved in various situations and learning that no, things are not as simple as they seem or appear to be? Then it does seem true that one gets cynical with age. But hearing Prof. Guanzon made me think about my decision- making process, and the things that I do and hope to achieve. I will heed her advice, and not worry too much about my future. I know I will write about my own success story soon, and inspire others just as law school (and people like Prof. Guanzon) has inspired me.

I won’t give up. Never.